Today, is no different. As I was busy making his one year birthday cards, he took a tumble. A thunderous thud could be heard and then the crying of fairies. Screeching from the carpet world was bountiful, as my ears began to bleed blood. As I swiftly ran to the crime scene, I was greeted by our oldest waving a truck at me, as if to say, "I did not do this to that little bitch, I was playing contently with my truck all alone". The onset of a puddle could be felt on the floor beside the little fall guy. I picked him up and saw blood. Blood leaking out of the sides of his mouth, as if he were in some Zombie movie. Rushing to the sink, I could see this was not as bad as it could have been. All his pearly whites were still intact......one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. After wiping his mouth and bloody hands (kept placing fingers in mouth), the crying and bleeding subsided. I had been to the dentist earlier for a root canal and had one deep cavity filled too. Parker must have wanted to feel my pain. That is the only thing, I am guessing propelled him to do such a heinous act.
Story not over. Not over by a long shot.
A few minutes later, as I watched the little human, the other appeared from around the corner. He spoke several words I could understand. "Hands, hands, pants, pants". Standing awkwardly with his legs apart, looking like he was riding a horse, I could tell what the issue was. He had pooped. Not bad right? WRONG! He had also, proceeded to place his hands in his diaper where the poop was slowly coming out. So, he had poop on his hands. Don't ask me why in the hell, such a smart kid would put his hands in poop. I don't exactly know why. All I do know, is that I had a second problem facing me.