Growing up.

Our littlest human is going to be the big "ONE" in just a couple short days. He has grown up so fast, in fact, about as fast as a bean stalk. He is now cruising around on everything and we are just waiting for the day when he takes off on his own. He has a party Saturday and we are running around trying to get that whole mess setup. Me and the Mrs, will probably be losing a few pounds this weekend.

I took some preliminary pictures for his mother. There will be many more to come in the following days.

One fish, two fish...

Our little humans are sea anemones by heart. There is a constant need for them to locate water, as if they are going to shrivel up and die without it.


Once they find water, they do not want to disembark the porcelain mother-ship they are in.

There is constant fighting for space in this aquarium.

Rags and toys are thrown about, without disregard for their consequences.

Their bodies begin to morph into the sea creatures they wish to become.




PBJ minus the "PB".

There once was a young child. He did not like peanut butter, so his mommy only made him jelly sandwiches. Every afternoon when that lunch bell rang out, he was tormented by this evil creamy glob. You see.....other kids would have peanut butter on their sandwiches and he had to smell this crap, trying not to hurl as he swiftly ate his lunch. The only defense, a lone fruit roll up. He would take that fruit roll up and stick it under his nose, allowing the smells of fruit mashed into a thin sheet permeate his nostrils.

No. This was no ordinary boy.

It was me! dun dun dun

I hate peanut butter. Always have. Unfortunately for me, my little humans did not inherit that gene. Our oldest little human loves this shit. He eats it like it is going out of style. He grabs for it every time he opens the pantry door. It is like he knows and is taunting me with it.

I still want to Poltergeist with every whiff of the creamy concoction, but have learned to control my breathing. So, every now and then I make him a PBJ and wish with every vein in my body, that one day he may learn to loathe it as I do.

The sacrifices of a father for his peanut butter driven young human.


Dentist Part II

Went to the Dentist again today. Oh boy, how I hate Dentists.

Had several cavities to fill and got fitted for the crown. It is now, six hours later and I am just regaining feeling in my lips. This Dentist is good though and precise. I love jamming to his iPod music.

Smoothie for lunch and dinner today.

Yay me.


Easy Mac

Not the kind your thinking of.

Mac & Cheese the Outback way. If you haven't had Mac & Cheese at Outback, you need to just once and you'll be hooked. A while ago, I had been saying, this stuff seems pretty easy to make. Lo and behold, it is. After scouring the internet for recipes we finally found one and the great part.......only 3 ingredients (my kinda recipe).

So, let's begin!


Pour heavy cream in with Velveeta and slowly warm. Do not heat this up fast!

You can use any pasta. To be authentic to the Mac & Cheese at Outback, I use Penne noodles.

Boil. Directions on box say, 12ish minutes. I bump it up to about 16 minutes.

Drain noodles and place back in pan.

Add cheesy heaven mixture.

Finished product. Salt and pepper to taste.

Penne Pasta - 2 cups
Velveeta Cheese - 8oz
Heavy Cream - 1 cup *I bumped this up a notch. I feel it gives more coverage to each noodle.
4 peeps
Cook Time:
Until noodles are done boiling.

This recipe, courtesy of CopyKat. Go there to find this and other great recipes.



Not the contagious kind. What the hell are you thinking?

It has been some time, since my last run-in with Taco Bell. I am talking at least one month, since going to "The Hell". A couple days ago, I ran across an article on their newest piece of garbage, the Dorito Loco Taco. I am no food critic by any stretch of the imagination, but I can spot a terrible Americanized piece of Mexican food affair when I lay eyes on one.

First off, a cardboard cutout of a taco, really? That was the first clue something was amiss. Chomping down angrily with hunger, I was expecting something magical in my mouth. A relief from the pain I had endured leading up to the predicament I found myself in.  Here is what I expected: the taste of a Dorito, followed by that unique taste of cheap "pink slime" filler. What i got: the taste of "pink slime" filler. I got no Dorito taste at all! I had my wife try too, as I wanted another opinion. She began spitting it out as soon as she got it in her mouth. She tasted Dorito, but a funky kinda Dorito.


Taco Bell, I think, has come up with several great ideas in the past. After glancing my eyes on their newest debacle, I was amazed to find myself staring into the eyes of a Volcano. Volcano taco, that is. This astonishingly hot goodness was a fresh breathe of hot air. I had thought this beast lay dormant. So, breathing fire, I enjoyed the rest of my lunch.



A clear film layer filled with air. 

Who knew such a simple concept would be emotionally gratifying for a little human. We as parents, could be made to do this for hours at a time if it were possible. Fortunately, we would pass out only after thirty minutes. Mr Derek has always loved bubbles (we have one of those bubble machines that claim to produce gazillions of bubbles). So, every Spring when bubble concoctions are prevalent in the stores we pounce. Several dollars for weeks of fun. Duh. That is a no-brainer.

As you can see, the littlest (newest) human is not quite sure yet.


Plumbers crack.

No shots of my sexy ass. Sorry ladies.

Did a little drain unclogging the other day. How does a quarter and a nickel make it into the p-trap? I don't understand this voodoo.


A cat? Well, more like a fur ball regurgitated into the pipe. Yuck!

I love doing these tasks around the homestead. I live in apartment and could call the maintenance crews, but why when I know I can do it. I believe my dad would be proud.


Fender Bender.

It was not my intent, to post about this sort of event today. I was rear ended pretty hard this morning.

Luckily, the little humans were not in the car with me at the time. Needless to say, my neck is sore and I have a headache. 

Driving down Roswell Road is always a daunting and scary task. It is an obstacle course of pure stupidity. Thousands of fast cars, scurrying here and there. Humans crossing. Many, many, many driveways and entrances. 

I can recall it now. Stopped at a light, singing to Adele, I notice one lane closed ahead (not my lane). My head turns to the mirror. No one to the right of me. Good. As the silver "government" vehicle ahead of me begins to accelerate when the light turns green, we all follow his Conga line. Within 500 feet all hell breaks loose. That car in front of me is stopping rather abruptly. A car from one of those many, many, many side drives cannot see us past the construction trucks and pulls out in front of the silver "government" vehicle. Being a safe driver, I hit my brakes and still had room in front of me. The car behind me had a different thought. 

The poor pregnant lady that hit me couldn't stop. Squealing tires could be heard, as I cringed at what was about to happen. A sudden jerk and within an instant it was over. I avoided the car in front of me by having that extra space. That "government" vehicle knew what happened.  He did not stop. The car that illegally turned left (sign stated no left turn out of the high school driveway) looked over based on what another witness told me and kept going about his reckless biz. Immediately, I felt a migraine type pain in my head as several construction personal asked if I was alright. 

I was more worried about the pregnant lady at the time. She and I were both flustered, but she was bright red and I was worried about her blood pressure. An ambulance came, but she denied service and I did the same. I don't know if I would call it lucky, but fortunately she was already on her journey to her doctor to get checked out. She was 3 months pregnant and hope everyone is okay.

The damage didn't look bad on the scene. I tried to open the back hatch, but it was jammed up. I managed to get it open at home and these are the pictures...... 

The frame is totally bent in and has effed up everything! The door won't close correctly and it has a dent in it as well. However, vehicles can be fixed.


Yes, that is yellow pollen all over the car. YUCK!


Wat up Peeps?

Yeah, I am gangsta like that! Mental picture: White guy in 30's, holding hands in the air and waving them around like he just don't care.

One great advantage of having my Birthday so close to Spring, is that there are many sweet treats for Easter. The bad advantage. Sweet Easter treats.

Peeps. To be more precise.

If there is one thing you should know about me, it is, that I LOVE these little creme marshmallow candies coated with colored sugar. Airy treats that seem to melt in your mouth. If clouds were made of these, I would skydive into them happily.

At a whooping 330 calories per package and 78 of sugar, my diet (or lack thereof) hates this fact.

Happy Birthday to me. From the wife and little humans.