Epic fail.

I could tell this morning was going to be different from others.

I had a restless nights sleep and was awake at 430. Intense pounding from my head is what made me get out of bed that early. As I stumbled into the darkness, I managed to find my way to the mega jar of Ibuprofen. The light from the fridge was nearly unbearable, as I searched for something to chase these glorious pills with. Managing to find some apple juice, I quickly chugged some so I could be on my way to bed. I thought I heard some noises coming from the little humans sanctuary, so I peaked inside being ever so cautious of the surprise I might find behind the door. I could see the silhouette of one laying on his bed moving around as if having a nightmare. I quickly turned and crept back to my humble bed. With the intense jack hammer above my head it was hard to get back to sleep. As I lay there in a coma induced state, I could still hear some commotion from the next room over. I thought nothing of it and finally fell back to sleep.

Derek did not want to awake this morning and was eventually forced to, when the time began to count down against his favor. It was picture day at school, so he was dressed in something a little more appropriate than what daddy typically dresses him in. Derek was being very difficult on this morning and was whiny. We managed to get the kids in the car and headed to school.

Arriving at school, I thought of something. I had not packed any diapers.......AGAIN! This would be the second time I had managed to elude the fact that he needed diapers. These teachers are going to be pissed at me, I thought to myself. I am sure they can steal some from an emergency supply or another little humans back pack, but the fact still lingered in my head..... I had forgotten diapers once again. I pulled up to the drop off line, mortified that he did not have diapers. As one of the adults pulled him out of the car, his back pack fell to the ground. I thought nothing of this innocent accident, but as I pulled away I heard a crunch from the back passenger side tire. It sounded like a sippy cup! I continued on my way forward, looking over at another adult as she passed my window. I could tell she had a slight cringe on her face, as she looked down toward the pavement. I peered through the rear-view mirror and could see a jumbled mess of bright colors laying in the path I had just taken. It was Derek's sippy cup. It must have fallen out of his backpack when it crashed from the car. So now, he has no diapers and nothing to drink!!! Shit, mother fucker.

I feel so bad for the poor little human and expect a call on my cell phone at any minute asking why he has neither of these items in his possession today. I do not look forward to picking him up this afternoon. I suspect, I will be sent to the principals office or something like that. I just hate confrontations. I am sure a note will be left in his backpack.

Such is life, when you are a stay at home dad. Welcome to my world.