What is plastic and catches waste?

A disposable diaper. Duh!

Well, on this day Parker wanted to know what it was and how to get it off of his brother.

Get ready for another neck bender. I do not take responsibility for sore/stiff necks and will likewise, not pay for any doctor visits or chiropractor visits due to your need to look at it the correct way. I can tell what is going on in this video without the need to turn my head.

Redux

Do you remember when I said, I was going to start exercising and drinking water? Well, I do!

Let's just say, after a week it became non-existent.  I no longer exercised. I no longer drank only water. I no longer listened to myself.

Today.

Today I started fresh. A clean slate has been brushed off and etched with the hands of a higher being. I began this day by drinking water. I set out to begin walking/jogging again. I loaded up the little humans in the old minivan and found a spot to park. I have decided to go on a walking path along the Chattahoochee River. There are river views for me and car views for the little humans as they wiz by at a faster rate than should be traveled. 2 miles is my starting point. 2 miles of agony as I would later learn.

A brisk walk was intermittently challenged by a slightly faster jog. The path was slow, but flat. I could smell the exhaust of cars and the moisture laden leaves as I trekked along with determination. The reward for the little humans.......if daddy could make it back to the starting point without going into a coma, they could play on the playground and be swung on the swings in the breeze by the river. Luckily for them, I made it back.

Here are some pictures. I assure you, you won't see any of me bent over in agony hurling water from my mouth as I gasp for air. The bridge is that of Roswell Road crossing over the Chattahoochee River. This bridge was originally a covered bridge and you can still see some of the arches from that time period. I had no knowledge of this until I came upon it while doing a u-turn on the path I was walking.

All pictures were taken with my cell phone, so don't judge.

 

 

Whats yours is mine!

Our littlest is trying to graduate on his own. The other night, his older little human counterpart left his sippy cup within reach and he jumped at the opportunity. Snatching it, he quickly began chugging away. I would like to say, he was graceful. He was not. As you can see, he had it running down his face, around his chin and onto his chest before being soaked up by the tshirt. He is trying and I will give him that. We are slowly trying to ween him of the bottle anyway, so his cooperation is much appreciated. 

  

Sous chef.

On some nights, after a very long day with screaming, crying, whiny little humans daddy just needs a little help. This night was no exception. Our littlest is teething. Teething equals all the above mentioned at a constant rate of 4 g's. Our other little human woke up from a nap, bawling his poor eye ducts out. He was extra clingy and I had to hold him for a while before he shut up.

Introducing my Sous Chef......

Thank you, Bartles & Jaymes for taking the edge off!

Epic fail.

I could tell this morning was going to be different from others.

I had a restless nights sleep and was awake at 430. Intense pounding from my head is what made me get out of bed that early. As I stumbled into the darkness, I managed to find my way to the mega jar of Ibuprofen. The light from the fridge was nearly unbearable, as I searched for something to chase these glorious pills with. Managing to find some apple juice, I quickly chugged some so I could be on my way to bed. I thought I heard some noises coming from the little humans sanctuary, so I peaked inside being ever so cautious of the surprise I might find behind the door. I could see the silhouette of one laying on his bed moving around as if having a nightmare. I quickly turned and crept back to my humble bed. With the intense jack hammer above my head it was hard to get back to sleep. As I lay there in a coma induced state, I could still hear some commotion from the next room over. I thought nothing of it and finally fell back to sleep.

Derek did not want to awake this morning and was eventually forced to, when the time began to count down against his favor. It was picture day at school, so he was dressed in something a little more appropriate than what daddy typically dresses him in. Derek was being very difficult on this morning and was whiny. We managed to get the kids in the car and headed to school.

Arriving at school, I thought of something. I had not packed any diapers.......AGAIN! This would be the second time I had managed to elude the fact that he needed diapers. These teachers are going to be pissed at me, I thought to myself. I am sure they can steal some from an emergency supply or another little humans back pack, but the fact still lingered in my head..... I had forgotten diapers once again. I pulled up to the drop off line, mortified that he did not have diapers. As one of the adults pulled him out of the car, his back pack fell to the ground. I thought nothing of this innocent accident, but as I pulled away I heard a crunch from the back passenger side tire. It sounded like a sippy cup! I continued on my way forward, looking over at another adult as she passed my window. I could tell she had a slight cringe on her face, as she looked down toward the pavement. I peered through the rear-view mirror and could see a jumbled mess of bright colors laying in the path I had just taken. It was Derek's sippy cup. It must have fallen out of his backpack when it crashed from the car. So now, he has no diapers and nothing to drink!!! Shit, mother fucker.

I feel so bad for the poor little human and expect a call on my cell phone at any minute asking why he has neither of these items in his possession today. I do not look forward to picking him up this afternoon. I suspect, I will be sent to the principals office or something like that. I just hate confrontations. I am sure a note will be left in his backpack.

Such is life, when you are a stay at home dad. Welcome to my world.    

Therapy

Little humans. They project a kinda therapeutic feeling in some ways. There is a reason people are drawn to the nursery in a hospital. Little humans warm our hearts. When depression gets me down, I can just look over at this cute innocent face. Instantly, the feelings subside as I stare into those deep blues and that adorable smile.

Growing up.

Our littlest human is going to be the big "ONE" in just a couple short days. He has grown up so fast, in fact, about as fast as a bean stalk. He is now cruising around on everything and we are just waiting for the day when he takes off on his own. He has a party Saturday and we are running around trying to get that whole mess setup. Me and the Mrs, will probably be losing a few pounds this weekend.

I took some preliminary pictures for his mother. There will be many more to come in the following days.

Three's Company....My Ass.

What have I snorted, to make myself watch an extra little person today? that is flour....what did you think it was?


So, three! What is it like? It is hell and I am only an hour into this fiery madness. All three little people are still in diapers. All three little people are mobile. All three little people are not happy campers today. Two are teething and the other, is just a diva.

Moments of happiness, it is what the lens captures. The real story is not being told here.

BREAKING NEWS!!!

We are not having another pooping pile of joy until one is older. That is for damn sure. The newest shorty, has shit pooped twice in an hour. What is he being fed? My own little rugrats are on a schedule, but not a crap til your hearts content kinda schedule. I feel like we need to perform an intervention. A booty boot camp.

I am definitely frazzled here. My world turned upside down.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind helping out. This is an eye opening experiment (not experience).

Play date.

This past week, involved some much wanted warmth. Temperatures were in the middle 70's and it was sunny. So, one evening we met up with some good friends and had a little play date. Secretly, our little ones are in a committed relationship for the rest of their lives.

Patiently waiting for an open swing.

Sat still long enough to get this picture.

Dazed and confused.

Yoga anyone?

What is this? A jelly sandal from the little girl. 

Jail.

Swinging, is a favorite of both our sons. 

Afterwards, we went to our friends house to eat some grub and play a little on the Kinect. I wouldn't call it playing though, it was more like exercise. My arms were sore, two days after this adult play. 

Violent storms rolled in while we were there, with a tornado passing just a couple miles north of us. On our way home we ran into the aftermath. A major route was closed and we could see why. Trees were twisted and power poles were down on the road. Luckily, our house was spared as it lifted, not doing anymore damage.    

Never Ending Story

The work is never done.

I have recently come to the realization, that kids, plus a house, equals constant insanity. I will clean up and the little angels devils come through like ravaging savages, to the point, I cannot tell what has been accomplished. I recently read a mommy post and in that post the SAHM said, "my husband comes home and asks what I have been doing all day. He seems very mad at me before a foot even enters the threshold of chaos." I will occasionally get those types of stares too.

First off, I have to point out the obvious. Two against one is not fair in any situation and just because they are little people, doesn't mean they get less of a count in this equation. X + Y = Z for a reason. X and Y are the little people and ZZZ's are what daddy feels like after a day of mischief and destruction. Both children are mobile and agile. This creates an issue for daddy because there are four hands getting into things and only two to pick those things back up, along with doing the other household chores.

Laundry and dishes are a daily routine in this casa. Our poor dryer has never seen the light of day, so I cleaned it off to give it new life. I would like to say that lasted more than a week, but it did not. In fact, it lasted two whole damn days. There are constant piles of clothes, not just to be washed, but also to be put up. There is only so much hanging a person can do in one day and I am not referring to hanging myself.

 The dishwasher never stops and the sink is a constant battle ground between dirty and clean.   So, when the wife comes home to see a debris littered living room, the kitchen and laundry are good to go. The opposite can be said, when the debris has been cleared away in the living room. There is always some area in the house that is not as tidy as it could be. I will say, my wife is good at praising me when she can get past the fact that our living room looks like a train station, but I will still get that faint rumble in her tone or a look that hits me in the face. A look of, what have you done today, besides sit on the computer. I do not hold it against anyone that dares question what I do, because I myself know what hard work I have done and they can kiss my ass.

 It is not hard by any means, but it is not as easy as one would think either......it is simply never ending.