What is plastic and catches waste?

A disposable diaper. Duh!

Well, on this day Parker wanted to know what it was and how to get it off of his brother.

Get ready for another neck bender. I do not take responsibility for sore/stiff necks and will likewise, not pay for any doctor visits or chiropractor visits due to your need to look at it the correct way. I can tell what is going on in this video without the need to turn my head.

Three's Company....My Ass.

What have I snorted, to make myself watch an extra little person today? that is flour....what did you think it was?


So, three! What is it like? It is hell and I am only an hour into this fiery madness. All three little people are still in diapers. All three little people are mobile. All three little people are not happy campers today. Two are teething and the other, is just a diva.

Moments of happiness, it is what the lens captures. The real story is not being told here.

BREAKING NEWS!!!

We are not having another pooping pile of joy until one is older. That is for damn sure. The newest shorty, has shit pooped twice in an hour. What is he being fed? My own little rugrats are on a schedule, but not a crap til your hearts content kinda schedule. I feel like we need to perform an intervention. A booty boot camp.

I am definitely frazzled here. My world turned upside down.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind helping out. This is an eye opening experiment (not experience).

Upon Further Inspection

I have definitely had my fair share of children's bathroom behavior, or lack there of lately.

Today is no exception!

Both children slept in today(sleeping in is 8:30), which has been a rare feat, since we have all been sick the past week. I checked on both earlier, as I had heard Parker talking to himself, but he must have talked himself back to sleep. Neither was awake, so I thought to myself, AWESOME. As with Rumpelstiltskin, on Once Upon A Time however, a good thing is often followed up by a bad and more substantial negative reaction. This was the case. 

Upon entering Derek and Parker's  room, I was blown back into the hallway by the pungent odor of poop. As if, I had stepped into a brick wall. My head began to ache and I felt nauseous to my stomach. I was familiar with this odor, as I had smelt this radioactive smell a few times before. Immediately, I went to get Derek, as he looked up at me with a sorta grin/sad face. Then, I saw it. His pants were brown front to back, his sheets wet, and the smell was retched. I carefully clasped my hands around his body the best I could, without getting it all over and without hurting the poor little guy. Laying him down on the changing table, I could see there would be no easy way around getting his clothes off without getting it all over his legs. As, I peeled his wet and tight pajama pants off, it unfortunately transferred onto not only his legs, but also my hands(SHIT yuck). At this point, all hope was soon lost, a fading memory travelling into the abyss of fog. 

Bath-time, would become the only possible solution for this icky mess.  

Derek treasures baths and playing in the water. 

Wait. No. 

He LOVES baths and playing in the water. He is our little fish. Our Michael Phelps.

Today, you were lucky. Because, as much as he LOVES playing in water, he equally loathes coming out of the water once he is in it.

He looks happier than he actually is. 

So, now that bath-time is over, I start to think.....

Why did this occur? 

Ding, ding, ding. I know what it is. 

And.

It is all mommy's fault! Wink wink. 

We decided, to have our usual staple for dinner last night. Papa Johns! 

Except.....

We ordered something different to go along with our pizza. We ordered the honey chipotle chicken fingers. Oh boy, did those chicken fingers have a kick! We tried the best we could, to wipe off much of the sauce, but the poor chicken was still coated in the gooey stuff. Alas, we probably have the culprit at hand. Spice and a kids stomach, equals bad outcome. 

Parent fail #224098.  

Ditto previous day

When I created this blog I expected to write a lot, but this is a little more than I like. Especially given the circumstances.

My little nine month old decided for the second day in a row to try and pee on/in something other than his diaper.

This time I caught him in the act, as in slow motion I saw the stream headed toward me and my clothes. With a Matrix like move, I rolled in my stomach and backed up at the same time, while the stream of urine slowly started its downward trend right onto the awaiting clean carpet below. Looking back at it, it was absolutely like it was in the movie. It was a slow motion tragedy.

I cannot make this stuff up! It is really absurd that this has never happened before I started this blog.

Kinda makes me wonder. Is he literally pissing on my blog? Is it retaliation?

And.

While we are on the subject of bathroom behavior.....what is up with all the poop lately? Two children in diapers equal a busy day. I mean really, it seems like I am constantly wiping the bottom of a nasty butt. If poop was made of money, I would be rich...... albeit it would be dirty money.

Here's to better days ahead. I hope.